From Jonnydigital.com, the only reliable source
by DruidPoet, February 1999
Transmission detected in time vortex. Correcting errors....
Signal source...Earth....Date stamp.....2098..
Signal content.....ASCII..
Decoding.........
Message playback......
Dear diary
As I sit on my toilet reading the e-mails in my archive from mid 1999 on my waterproof touch screen that doubles as a mirror, I laugh to myself about the confusion that people had back then about digital convergence. When I look around me now , its hard to see why. (The benefit of hindsight)
For a start, I never have to worry about running out of toilet roll now that the toilet monitors its use and notifies my fridge when stocks are low, so that when the fridge orders my shopping, toilet roll is top of the list.
Take yesterday for example, a valve in my house's water tank began to wear out and notified Tescos (My water supplier). They dispatched a nanodroid through the water pipe which rebuilt the valve last night. I remember the days when water leaks caused a fair amount of damage when they failed. Thank god these days are gone. I mean, what would have happened to my solar panels if water had accumulated behind them?
I'm listening to the Rolling Stones new album which my stereo downloaded 3 days ago. You really can't tell the difference between the real Stones I remember as a child and their holographic reproduction. Some argue they sound better now.
Its good that my TV set notified me that they were repeating Red Dwarf series 2 on BBC234 last night and recorded it for me. I still haven't updated my 20th century collection of DVD (Heh, remember that!) and would have hated missing it. Especially now that they are making the follow-up to the first film finally.
Bloody Amiga, they took over the world. Amiga this, Amiga that. God knows we could have done without that Emperor Collas deciding that we needed everything "converged". I can't be the only one that remembers not having to ask your coffee machine to give you a stronger cup. Who cares if its bad for you.
Sometimes I miss the days when I would sit in front of my Amiga 4000. telling it what to do. OK, so it would take nearly 30seconds to boot and you had to load the software to use it, but there was something nice about having to type into a keyboard or waggle a joystick whilst looking at a 21" light projector when pretending to fly a plane.
Bloody iris projectors. Bloody brain implants.
Its not the same now that I can sit inside the Sopwith Camel flying over France with complete accuracy , strafing rabbits (Beautifully rendered in Lightwave 67) and smelling the corordite as the surround sound warns me of the Red Baron approaching from the sun. Its too real now. It takes the fun out of it if you ask me.
The kids nowadays don't understand. "If you don't feel the punch from your opponent, it isn't real" they say. Of course you don't actually get hurt, but the sensation is reproduced so that you know you have been hit. I much preferred the screen flashing red but of course, I'm an old fart now so what do I know..
The.e is .omthing wr.ng wi.h my wat.h it. no. pickin. my .oice up co.rect.y That's better. I don't suppose I can complain about the modern world really. That recalibration built into all the electronics works wonders.
My coffee cup has just informed me I am stressed, its booking me on a flight to Goose Green in the Falklands. That's what I need, a nice tropical holiday. I must get out of Scotland once in a while. The sun is too strong these days. Only five minutes outside without a radiation suite. It plays havoc with the skin. Its just as well my shower releases moisturiser when it detects my skin is damaged or I would look like my age.
Oh hang on, The stereo is just telling me its found some music that fits my listening requirements.. Downloading now..
Its Man, another 1970's band.. Am I really that old?
Oh the lights have come on, it must be getting late. I'm just going out the back to see the sunset while its safe. I wish they hadn't painted in red and white though....
Page created: 15th August 2008